missed my blog!

so I wasn't able to update for the past two months, when I just promised I would keep thi blog update d of all the going ons in my life.. lets just put it this way..

a lot has happened is bound to happen that the space and the time I am alotted to consume for writing a single entry is not enough.. ;p

in life you learn to live when you decide to die..

this quote was what i learned from the last book that I read which is "veronika decides to die" by paulo coehlo.. the book was full of irony.. but then I was able to grasp all the underlying points conveyed in the story..

basically the story evolved with veronike who decided to die when she found herself doing things over and over again yet not feeling any fulfillment or anguish with her actions.. and so she decided to end her life by taking a dose of sleeping pills.. but unsuccessful she was, she ended up in a known mental hospital in their state where she informed that she only has a week to live..

and while waiting for her judgment day, she was able to realize that she insanity is not as harsh as what others used to think it is.. instead it is doing what you think would make you happy with less inhibitions..

with that story I was left pondering over what's been happening with my life.. am I crazy or normal? well.. if I were to assess myself, I know I am crazy.. crazy to the point that I can risk everything I can for the actions that I know might make me happy with no inhibitions at all. maybe I am becoming a non conformist,, no one can blame me,, I just don't want to be a typical girl,, acting like what everybody else expects her to be!

Team elmo

team elmo is officially dissolved,, :( last shift I was able to talk to my so called 'coach erick' and he officially told me that he would soon resign and that team elmo would never be resurrected.

due to my curiosity I blatantly asked him what really caused all these trouble that he's been facing.. unexpectedly he shared to me alll that he did.. from the conspiracy he and ms. nina did.. up to the issue of indecent act accused against her and his girlfriend jeannette..

this time everything is clear to me,, maybe it would be better if he would resign,, just for the sake of his pride!

with all honesty I have to admit that I noticed the great impact of what happened to all of us..

since we got assigned to different coaches we all had our own share of problems,.. by then I was able to conclude that it just never felt that good since we got deployed to other teams..

and that is what erick just explained to me the other day.. he told me that we shouldn't let our performance be affected by the issues.. yes we got separated but we're still under one account and we could still talk anytime.. yes it is sad that we were left with no option but what can we do? we're only subordinates.. what we can only do is to perform better so as to disprove all their accusations of inefficiency against coach erick..

*missing my team mode*