Let go and let God

Family Sunday mass today was pretty much uneventful. Save for the preaching that unmistakably echoed a good portion of my mean-girls-like college life. Every idea of uninteresting abruptly trickled to zero.

"Alam ko ang pagdarasal para sa mga kaaway natin ay hindi ganon kadaling gawin. Pero nagawa ito ng Diyos ng ipagdasal niya si Hudas at si Pontio Pilato," the priest said with conviction. "Bakit hindi natin ito kayang gawin?"

It was one of those millions of things that fall under the bill of 'easier said than done, I thought. 

At one point during the sermon however, the priest asked everyone to place their hands on their hearts, close their eyes and pray for their enemies.

"Ah! a first," I told myself. This priest really is committed to have everyone join him in a 'special prayer for the enemies.' Hesitant, I did the same thing and before closing my eyes I ran through my head how'd my prayer go:

"Lord, you've seen me toil just to save a piece of my dignity and myself in all that I've gone through. I wouldn't say I have been absolutely good myself, for I am aware that I've had those moments when I fell to the lure of my devious side. But I guess that's more than enough weight on my heart and my shoulders already. I lift everything to you and trust that you know better, above all else, what needs to be done. Thank you for being with me all the way." 

As we stepped out of the church, I felt that once and for all a blog entry on "letting go and letting God" is in order.

You see,  ever since the 'renaissance' of this blog, I have made a simple promise to myself. No more looking back to the nasty past. It's over and done. So it's time to move forward to far better and greater things that life has to offer. However, it appeared that God had a different plan for me today. This would probably be the one time exception that I would touch on the topic after so many years.

So to my detractors, I don't think I have much to say though. Just five words.

Goodbye. Good riddance. Good luck.

Whoever I am, wherever I am, whatever I have and whoever am I with right now were mildly brought, caused and influenced of what you guys did to me in the past. Suffice it to say, you steered me towards this direction. Which means, I only have all of you guys to thank for every single wonderful thing that has been added to my long list of experiences, joys and blessings.

I look at life differently nowadays. The heaps of drama, triflings and scheming I have long dished out of my life. In place of those, I have allowed positivity, good will and diplomacy. And it felt good. For the first time, it felt like things were actually as good as they once were.

I learned to open myself and look for the good in every person instead of the other way around. I came to understand that real friendships are the once that don't go and end with just about any fight, petty or destructive. More importantly, I appreciated how God's schematics of life truly work. :p How he planned everyone to face the worst and finest things in life, may it be from losing friends or to finding that one dream job.

As I type, it's inevitable to have flashbacks of what has transpired. Seeing the bigger picture, everything just fits in. Had just one block changed or one person chose the other side, everything would be different. And I just won't be where I am right now. And it's gonna be unfortunate to think such.