--- in making me feel alone
"kaya minsan mas maganda din yung wala kang alam para di ka masaktan."–madie's advice
Have you ever done something which you think could've alleviated a situation, but then it turned out to befall the exact opposite?
I presume most of the ones who've read this couldn't agree more. Well its because its conventional. In fact I just had my fair share in that case. With just a phone call to which I supposed could've bridged the widening gap between the two of us only made it become apparent to me how far we've now grown apart. There's this implicit cold war between us but as since last Friday, but just to settle the feud I made up my mind that at least one of us should approach the other in order for us to talk things over and that would no less than be---ME!!
Despite the fact that I was frustrated regarding our previous encounter, I myself found it odd that I still don't have the nerve not to talk to him for the longest time. And so I phoned him to be able to clear up the issues and to say our apologies for each one's faults. Just like what happens regularly, the expected soothing of matters to my dismay turned to rather intensify the already worse situation.
When madie told me the aforementioned quote, it made me arrive to a silent weep. My sense of sight already became blurry, it felt like my face was burning hot, my head seemed too heavy for me to sit up straight, my knees felt like a jelly forced to stack up that made it wobble endlessly though I was seated and lastly something from the inside felt so painful as if its being pricked slowly making sure that it kills me little by little. I wanted to scream my heart out, I wanted to cry out loud but I just can't… and by not being able to made the agony harder for me to bear.
One thing is certain, the friendship is crumbling and there is no way for us to save it!
Some of his famous crappy lines---
- I need some time
- Its my finals week, I just needed to lessen my burden *so then it showed, I AM a burden for you!*
- We're growing apart—you just noticed? Its been happening for quite some time now.. *well sorry!!!*
- I have a lot of problems to think of..*yeah right!as if ours isn't a problem!*
- After this what would happen? *duh?! Try asking that to yourself, you’re the one who has issues!*
- What do you feel right now? * try asking that gain and I won’t hesitate in giving you a vicious slap along with a high powered kick!*
- What's the problem?! * god!! This is the dumbest question I've ever hard my entire lifetime! Try facing the mirror so you could see my ENORMOUS problem.*
- Maybe I'm just tired of reaching out! *total crap! How bout considering my efforts, if that's too much to ask from you..*
Tuesday, March 28
"kaya minsan mas maganda din yung wala kang alam para di ka masaktan."–madie's advice
Have you ever done something which you think could've alleviated a situation, but then it turned out to befall the exact opposite?
I presume most of the ones who've read this couldn't agree more. Well its because its conventional. In fact I just had my fair share in that case. With just a phone call to which I supposed could've bridged the widening gap between the two of us only made it become apparent to me how far we've now grown apart. There's this implicit cold war between us but as since last Friday, but just to settle the feud I made up my mind that at least one of us should approach the other in order for us to talk things over and that would no less than be---ME!!
Despite the fact that I was frustrated regarding our previous encounter, I myself found it odd that I still don't have the nerve not to talk to him for the longest time. And so I phoned him to be able to clear up the issues and to say our apologies for each one's faults. Just like what happens regularly, the expected soothing of matters to my dismay turned to rather intensify the already worse situation.
When madie told me the aforementioned quote, it made me arrive to a silent weep. My sense of sight already became blurry, it felt like my face was burning hot, my head seemed too heavy for me to sit up straight, my knees felt like a jelly forced to stack up that made it wobble endlessly though I was seated and lastly something from the inside felt so painful as if its being pricked slowly making sure that it kills me little by little. I wanted to scream my heart out, I wanted to cry out loud but I just can't… and by not being able to made the agony harder for me to bear.
One thing is certain, the friendship is crumbling and there is no way for us to save it!
Some of his famous crappy lines---
- I need some time
- Its my finals week, I just needed to lessen my burden *so then it showed, I AM a burden for you!*
- We're growing apart—you just noticed? Its been happening for quite some time now.. *well sorry!!!*
- I have a lot of problems to think of..*yeah right!as if ours isn't a problem!*
- After this what would happen? *duh?! Try asking that to yourself, you’re the one who has issues!*
- What do you feel right now? * try asking that gain and I won’t hesitate in giving you a vicious slap along with a high powered kick!*
- What's the problem?! * god!! This is the dumbest question I've ever hard my entire lifetime! Try facing the mirror so you could see my ENORMOUS problem.*
- Maybe I'm just tired of reaching out! *total crap! How bout considering my efforts, if that's too much to ask from you..*
Tuesday, March 28
Yesterday could've passed without me even noticing it. The day was uninteresting and monotonous cause I just spent wholly by making back dated entries which would recount what's been going on my life.
I woke up this day feeling the sudden urge to seek for a summer job, I just had this feeling that time’s been running out for me, cause if I really wanted to bank some money I better get started in working, now and I mean NOW!
Good thing the net has endorsements for summer jobs, so I started making my resume at jobstreet and clicked on almost all of the links where vacancies for call center agents are available.
Unexpectedly, just that afternoon I received a couple of calls from the companies I have applied for asking me to drop by their office the next day for a personal interview. Along with the giving of the notice, they also interviewed me through the phone asking me on what I can tell them about myself. The first call was the most spontaneous of all because I was busy doing something when I received their call. And next ones tagged along well.
Actually I was quite nervous and excited at the same time as regards my interviews tomorrow, but the funny part was that Im not that familiar especially in commuting to places were I usually go with my dad. My dad and my mom were both supportive of my new endeavor that they bothered to give me a topographic sketch on how I would be able to go to the assigned location of my interview.
Wednesday, March 29
This is my big day! It's a mystery to me how I was able to do all of the things I have done today but truly I more than grateful to all the people who extended assistance for me to be able to pursue that day’s goal.
Facts
-im hired in a call center company called ICT marketing services inc. yey!:)
-I was managed to travel from makati to shaw boulevard alone.
-I survived the phone simulation, skills test and the final interview at ICT.
-im gonna start training on Monday.
-I gave chosen the graveyard shift out of being adventurous.
-I never thought that working during the graveyard shift has higher compensation compared to the ones working in the morning.
I couldn’t explain all the mixed emotions lingering inside of me right now, but one thing is certain I intend to be productive this summer!:)
Thursday, March 30
Woke up later than the usual cause I got home late the previous night due to the very lengthy job offering which only means contract signing. Imagine I was in ortigas up to 10 in the evening just for that contract, nevertheless I need not complain cause I feel that staying there late was more advantageous on my part that I didn’t have to get back there a couple of times.
As they say "isang bagsakan na lang lahat.."
Odd though I was bearing this goofy smile on my face the whole day, maybe I was just too happy about all that’s been happening to me recently. Well I have some problems but I think this day just wanted me to be happy for once cause I have been crying too much these past few days because of disappointment and extreme longing for someone.
Oh!before I forgot, I was able to exchange some messages with denise who's staying in Macau for the entire vacation. Aww,, I miss that girl she's one of the few persons who never fail to see and/or understand my stand most of the times. Miss yah girl so much..
I was so feeling sluggish today because It rained, I don't know how was my sluggishness associated with the rain but it usually happens, well its one of my weird character.hehe!
Talked to madie and dez the entire day, I kept on motivating them that I firmly believe that they would be hired in ICT. They just need to be confident with themselves.
Go girls!:) I have in faith the two of you!
Friday, March 31
Odd though I was bearing this goofy smile on my face the whole day, maybe I was just too happy about all that’s been happening to me recently. Well I have some problems but I think this day just wanted me to be happy for once cause I have been crying too much these past few days because of disappointment and extreme longing for someone.
Oh!before I forgot, I was able to exchange some messages with denise who's staying in Macau for the entire vacation. Aww,, I miss that girl she's one of the few persons who never fail to see and/or understand my stand most of the times. Miss yah girl so much..
I was so feeling sluggish today because It rained, I don't know how was my sluggishness associated with the rain but it usually happens, well its one of my weird character.hehe!
Talked to madie and dez the entire day, I kept on motivating them that I firmly believe that they would be hired in ICT. They just need to be confident with themselves.
Go girls!:) I have in faith the two of you!
Friday, March 31
This day proved to me that I am really old enough to be held liable for my actions.
I went to the sss office to process my ss number which is required to be passed on Friday together with the other legal papers. Haha! imagine I was able to process it alone, and I was able to go there without any sketch or whatsoever. After processing the SS number I went to the city hall to get my nbi clearance, I can't believe it im really of legal age! Huhuhu ..anytime by now I can be held imprisoned for such violations in the constitutions or the existing rules unlike when I was well younger.. reprimanding was the worse sanction one can ever get.
Saturday, April 1
I went to medical plaza to pass my stool sample and to undergo medical test for the job.
Saw juvy on my way home,hehehe!i missed my high school peeps huhuhu..
Sunday, April 2
Did a bit of relaxation and some adjustments for tomorrow's start of my training.
Went to the riverbanks with mama, daddy and bianx, bought prepaid cards and an earring which I would be using for the training.hehehe!that's how excited I was.. actually I wasn't able get an ample rest because I can’t help but feel excited for the following day.
*looking forward mode*
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