-one-off involvement-
“Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan ang araw na ito sa buhay ko, na kahit papano alam ko na I made a concrete difference for the first time in my life! Dahil hindi naman lahat ng tao ay may guts na makapunta sa lugar na katulad ng Camp Sampaguita. At mabigyan ng chance to mingle with persons na hindi mo akalaing makakamingle mo sa tana ng buhay mo!!” Well this is what I told my friend, after we got out of Camp Sampaguita last February 15 for our Sociology exposure trip.
I can still recall how that first exposure trip for our block came to sequence. We are opted to leave UST at 7:00 o’clock in the morning, but of course the ‘filipino time’ is always implemented so we got to leave the school at 8:00 o’clock. In the bus everybody was so excited that, it seems to me that we are not going to a somehow “dangerous place.” I guess everybody was just enjoying the moment when we got out of our classroom, and that for the first time we will get to be wild and noisy without anybody telling us to stop.
When arrived at the Bilibid prison. It was like a huge desert, you can see many empty spaces, maybe it was really designed to look that way so if ever someone tries to escape, and he may have a hard time walking the whole prison to reach the exit.
As we got off the bus and fell in line, I can see the look of fear in their faces. Actually, I was also feeling unsafe that moment to the extent that I’m really very quiet and that I was thinking of backing off. But of course that is no moment of being a chicken, and so the next thing I knew is that I was walking in line with the other students, with a mob looking at each one of us from head to foot.
Then we got to what I assume as a school inside the prison? Well I was right it was really a school, with rooms, chairs and blackboards and the class officers posted on the wall. Then we walked further to approach a room where the program was supposed to be done. Of course, in a program the usual routine, emcee, speech and a bunch of intermission numbers: singing, dancing and skits, surprisingly by the inmates also. The funny part is that while they are performing some of them would simply approach someone from the audience, and give them a flower with their address on a tag. Hoping that the one they would give it would try to reach them in the prison through mail.
To be honest I wasn’t really attentive to the emcee, but I was really shocked by the whole place. What I mean is that it does not really look as bad as to what the movies try to inculcate in our minds, when they make the prison as the setting for their movie. Its just like a normal community. With a school, dormitories, volleyball courts, basketball courts, mosques and even a therapeutic center. Due to the very long first part of the program, I was starving to death at 1:00 o’clock and that is the only moment when they asked us to group ourselves by five’s, so that we can interact with the inmates while having lunch at the same time.
As soon as we got to group with the three other inmates, they initiated to find seats for us so that we could eat and chat sumptuously. One of the inmates named, Kuya Tony has seated right beside me. I was startled when he told me that he was looking at me the whole time, he said that it was my drowsy eyes that made him look at me. He said that it looks as if I was playing seductive as I blink my eyes, I really want to burst out laughing but I didn’t when he finished saying that. What I was thinking at that moment was that, of all places why would I try to play seductive in prison? Who would I like to seduce, the inmates? I mean it is not even in my goals when I got there.
Then we gave the foods that we brought for them, and then of course we ate. Well I was really uneasy that whole time, because Kuya Tony kept on looking at me once in a while as I change movements, so I never got to finish eating all the food I brought even though I was very hungry. And also because he kept on throwing a lot of flattery about me while everyone was conversing.
The three inmates recounted their stories, I was stunned that they are saying it as if it was just a plain mouth-to-mouth-to-mouth story! As Kuya Tony narrated his story, his crime was Homicide because he killed a colleague who was bragging while they are having a good time drinking. The typical situation in the Philippines, when one feels that someone is bragging too much he gets irritated and the next thing we knew they were already trying to kill each other. You know how Filipinos think, we are very proud that we do not want others to be ahead of us, in all aspects. He also mentioned that he was imprisoned before he got there but he bailed out, and then was again hunted by the police for his recent crime. It took the police years before they found him, because he hid at Olongapo for quite some time. As Kuya Tony bragged, “hindi naman nila ako hahanapin kung hindi nila nakita yung katawan eh!” needless to say its not only about their crimes that we talked about. We discussed about how was their life there, what are the types of subjects they are studying, and how are they feeling that they are in there.. imprisoned! Their answer is the same as to what the emcee said “Ano pa ba ang kailangan namin diba? Eh nandito naman na lahat, libreng pagkain, libreng tirahan, libreng paaral at secured pa kami! Akalain mong ang dami naming bodyguards hindi na namin kailaagan pang maghire sa labas!” Funny yet true.. would that be a possible reason why criminal cases increase in our country? Because of the better place of living in the prison, well we can never tell.
Before we ended the conversation Kuya Tony offered me an average sized container for only 20 pesos, because most of the inmates are offering us different stuffs that they made. Therefore, as a souvenir, I bought the container, and because it was cheaper compared to the other one offered to me. Then the interaction moment was finished, we had to go back to our seats because the program is about to resume.
Before I got back to my seat, I gave Kuya Tony a rosary, which is the size of a bracelet. I have thought that I should bring one and give it to someone whom I would have a good talk. He was thankful and in my part, I was also really glad that I was able to make someone happy by just a simple thought. He said that it was his first time to receive something like that, and that he would really treasure it so that he would remember me most of the time. I was astonished when he handed me the Winnie the pooh stationery that he was selling me a while ago, he said that I could keep it for free and that it would serve as a remembrance from him so that I would remember that I met him once in my life…
When I got to my seat, I know that was the time for me to head home because I was already tired and sleepy. However, before they ended the program. There was a musical play that the inmates prepared, I was not really watching closely to it but there is the part that caught me. It was telling that not only imprisonment behind bars is the real detention but also the captivity from greed, lust and inhumane acts. Well it was really catchy because we are too blinded that each one of us that belongs to what they call “malayang lipunan” is totally free, but we are all wrong!!!
As I saw death..
After the tour at the dormitories, of the college inmates, we went to the lethal injection chamber. While I was outside the chamber, I was excited to see how it would look like whether it was distinct from how I see it through the television. When I got inside, I felt really scared maybe its because of the pictures of the prisoners already executed in that room. It looks the same but it doesn’t feel the same, as I was feeling back then while seeing it through the TV. There is really this creepy feeling.
As you enter on the first door in front, that is the room with the two-way mirror is, where the family of the prisoner and the victim would stay and watch the process of injection of the poison to the accused. On the second door, as you enter on the left side there is a small room with a cot where the prisoner would stay before 3:00 o’clock which is the standard time for execution. Then another room with a desk and on top is two telephones, which I guess is where the president would call if she wants the execution suspended or whatever action she likes. In addition, the third room is where the prisoner will be executed. There is like a hospital bed with straps all over where the prisoner would lie, and on top of the bed hanging is a microphone to which the prisoner would say his last words and ask for pardon to his victim.
I was really shocked by the ones who are really touching and feeling the bed. I’m not acting superstitious what, I mean is lots of people already died in that bed and you would like to feel it, is not that kinda unusual! I just hope that for all the lives sacrificed in order for the crime to lessen would be worthy; because we only have one life and the loss of it would mean no other chance to revive it.
not only behind bars..
Prisoner: noun. somebody held in prison: somebody confined in a prison as a punishment for a crime or while waiting to stand trial. That is how a prisoner is usually defined, but aren’t we aware that there’s also another version of it? Prisoner : somebody who is or feels trapped: somebody who is unable to escape a situation or condition.
Sad but true, it is not only them behind bars are the prisoners. We the ones living our lives with what they call freedom, aren’t really living through it at all. We are prisoners of our own impurities and callous deeds, of poverty and greed and our individual experiences. So how are we supposed to deal with it? Vastly simple by two ways, first by merely accepting that we are indeed undergoing that state, second is by changing those habits that imprison us, so that we won’t be trapped for the rest of our lives.
So how about the concept of freedom? Let’s just say that freedom is not really absolute after all. Why? Imagine our lives without rules to govern and limit each one of us. That would mean anarchy. Like for instance the traffic lights, it is a good example how rules is limiting us but at the same time giving us convenience when we are in a stressful traffic situation. Rules are there not to mainly prohibit us of exercising our freedom; it was primarily there to restrain us from stepping on the borderline of freedom of the other persons around.
We have all the time to make the change and to be more fruitful for others, so why not grab the chance of doing so before anyone else tries to steal that moment from us. Since we only have one life, ‘we have to make the most out of it’ as the cliché goes. We should know our priorities at this early age, for us to be able to know where we want to direct our personal lives. As Kuya Tony told me “Siyempre sayang naman kung sasayangin namin ung buhay namin diba? Hindi pa naman dito nagtatapos ang lahat.. pwede pa naman kaming mag-aral para maging worth while ung buhay namin dito!”
It is only after this exposure trip that I realized, that I have been thinking more of “I” than thinking of “THEM,” that often times what we stumble to as obscure might just be petty for others who are suffering even more than what we think we have!
“Hinding hindi ko makakalimutan ang araw na ito sa buhay ko, na kahit papano alam ko na I made a concrete difference for the first time in my life! Dahil hindi naman lahat ng tao ay may guts na makapunta sa lugar na katulad ng Camp Sampaguita. At mabigyan ng chance to mingle with persons na hindi mo akalaing makakamingle mo sa tana ng buhay mo!!” Well this is what I told my friend, after we got out of Camp Sampaguita last February 15 for our Sociology exposure trip.
I can still recall how that first exposure trip for our block came to sequence. We are opted to leave UST at 7:00 o’clock in the morning, but of course the ‘filipino time’ is always implemented so we got to leave the school at 8:00 o’clock. In the bus everybody was so excited that, it seems to me that we are not going to a somehow “dangerous place.” I guess everybody was just enjoying the moment when we got out of our classroom, and that for the first time we will get to be wild and noisy without anybody telling us to stop.
When arrived at the Bilibid prison. It was like a huge desert, you can see many empty spaces, maybe it was really designed to look that way so if ever someone tries to escape, and he may have a hard time walking the whole prison to reach the exit.
As we got off the bus and fell in line, I can see the look of fear in their faces. Actually, I was also feeling unsafe that moment to the extent that I’m really very quiet and that I was thinking of backing off. But of course that is no moment of being a chicken, and so the next thing I knew is that I was walking in line with the other students, with a mob looking at each one of us from head to foot.
Then we got to what I assume as a school inside the prison? Well I was right it was really a school, with rooms, chairs and blackboards and the class officers posted on the wall. Then we walked further to approach a room where the program was supposed to be done. Of course, in a program the usual routine, emcee, speech and a bunch of intermission numbers: singing, dancing and skits, surprisingly by the inmates also. The funny part is that while they are performing some of them would simply approach someone from the audience, and give them a flower with their address on a tag. Hoping that the one they would give it would try to reach them in the prison through mail.
To be honest I wasn’t really attentive to the emcee, but I was really shocked by the whole place. What I mean is that it does not really look as bad as to what the movies try to inculcate in our minds, when they make the prison as the setting for their movie. Its just like a normal community. With a school, dormitories, volleyball courts, basketball courts, mosques and even a therapeutic center. Due to the very long first part of the program, I was starving to death at 1:00 o’clock and that is the only moment when they asked us to group ourselves by five’s, so that we can interact with the inmates while having lunch at the same time.
As soon as we got to group with the three other inmates, they initiated to find seats for us so that we could eat and chat sumptuously. One of the inmates named, Kuya Tony has seated right beside me. I was startled when he told me that he was looking at me the whole time, he said that it was my drowsy eyes that made him look at me. He said that it looks as if I was playing seductive as I blink my eyes, I really want to burst out laughing but I didn’t when he finished saying that. What I was thinking at that moment was that, of all places why would I try to play seductive in prison? Who would I like to seduce, the inmates? I mean it is not even in my goals when I got there.
Then we gave the foods that we brought for them, and then of course we ate. Well I was really uneasy that whole time, because Kuya Tony kept on looking at me once in a while as I change movements, so I never got to finish eating all the food I brought even though I was very hungry. And also because he kept on throwing a lot of flattery about me while everyone was conversing.
The three inmates recounted their stories, I was stunned that they are saying it as if it was just a plain mouth-to-mouth-to-mouth story! As Kuya Tony narrated his story, his crime was Homicide because he killed a colleague who was bragging while they are having a good time drinking. The typical situation in the Philippines, when one feels that someone is bragging too much he gets irritated and the next thing we knew they were already trying to kill each other. You know how Filipinos think, we are very proud that we do not want others to be ahead of us, in all aspects. He also mentioned that he was imprisoned before he got there but he bailed out, and then was again hunted by the police for his recent crime. It took the police years before they found him, because he hid at Olongapo for quite some time. As Kuya Tony bragged, “hindi naman nila ako hahanapin kung hindi nila nakita yung katawan eh!” needless to say its not only about their crimes that we talked about. We discussed about how was their life there, what are the types of subjects they are studying, and how are they feeling that they are in there.. imprisoned! Their answer is the same as to what the emcee said “Ano pa ba ang kailangan namin diba? Eh nandito naman na lahat, libreng pagkain, libreng tirahan, libreng paaral at secured pa kami! Akalain mong ang dami naming bodyguards hindi na namin kailaagan pang maghire sa labas!” Funny yet true.. would that be a possible reason why criminal cases increase in our country? Because of the better place of living in the prison, well we can never tell.
Before we ended the conversation Kuya Tony offered me an average sized container for only 20 pesos, because most of the inmates are offering us different stuffs that they made. Therefore, as a souvenir, I bought the container, and because it was cheaper compared to the other one offered to me. Then the interaction moment was finished, we had to go back to our seats because the program is about to resume.
Before I got back to my seat, I gave Kuya Tony a rosary, which is the size of a bracelet. I have thought that I should bring one and give it to someone whom I would have a good talk. He was thankful and in my part, I was also really glad that I was able to make someone happy by just a simple thought. He said that it was his first time to receive something like that, and that he would really treasure it so that he would remember me most of the time. I was astonished when he handed me the Winnie the pooh stationery that he was selling me a while ago, he said that I could keep it for free and that it would serve as a remembrance from him so that I would remember that I met him once in my life…
When I got to my seat, I know that was the time for me to head home because I was already tired and sleepy. However, before they ended the program. There was a musical play that the inmates prepared, I was not really watching closely to it but there is the part that caught me. It was telling that not only imprisonment behind bars is the real detention but also the captivity from greed, lust and inhumane acts. Well it was really catchy because we are too blinded that each one of us that belongs to what they call “malayang lipunan” is totally free, but we are all wrong!!!
As I saw death..
After the tour at the dormitories, of the college inmates, we went to the lethal injection chamber. While I was outside the chamber, I was excited to see how it would look like whether it was distinct from how I see it through the television. When I got inside, I felt really scared maybe its because of the pictures of the prisoners already executed in that room. It looks the same but it doesn’t feel the same, as I was feeling back then while seeing it through the TV. There is really this creepy feeling.
As you enter on the first door in front, that is the room with the two-way mirror is, where the family of the prisoner and the victim would stay and watch the process of injection of the poison to the accused. On the second door, as you enter on the left side there is a small room with a cot where the prisoner would stay before 3:00 o’clock which is the standard time for execution. Then another room with a desk and on top is two telephones, which I guess is where the president would call if she wants the execution suspended or whatever action she likes. In addition, the third room is where the prisoner will be executed. There is like a hospital bed with straps all over where the prisoner would lie, and on top of the bed hanging is a microphone to which the prisoner would say his last words and ask for pardon to his victim.
I was really shocked by the ones who are really touching and feeling the bed. I’m not acting superstitious what, I mean is lots of people already died in that bed and you would like to feel it, is not that kinda unusual! I just hope that for all the lives sacrificed in order for the crime to lessen would be worthy; because we only have one life and the loss of it would mean no other chance to revive it.
not only behind bars..
Prisoner: noun. somebody held in prison: somebody confined in a prison as a punishment for a crime or while waiting to stand trial. That is how a prisoner is usually defined, but aren’t we aware that there’s also another version of it? Prisoner : somebody who is or feels trapped: somebody who is unable to escape a situation or condition.
Sad but true, it is not only them behind bars are the prisoners. We the ones living our lives with what they call freedom, aren’t really living through it at all. We are prisoners of our own impurities and callous deeds, of poverty and greed and our individual experiences. So how are we supposed to deal with it? Vastly simple by two ways, first by merely accepting that we are indeed undergoing that state, second is by changing those habits that imprison us, so that we won’t be trapped for the rest of our lives.
So how about the concept of freedom? Let’s just say that freedom is not really absolute after all. Why? Imagine our lives without rules to govern and limit each one of us. That would mean anarchy. Like for instance the traffic lights, it is a good example how rules is limiting us but at the same time giving us convenience when we are in a stressful traffic situation. Rules are there not to mainly prohibit us of exercising our freedom; it was primarily there to restrain us from stepping on the borderline of freedom of the other persons around.
We have all the time to make the change and to be more fruitful for others, so why not grab the chance of doing so before anyone else tries to steal that moment from us. Since we only have one life, ‘we have to make the most out of it’ as the cliché goes. We should know our priorities at this early age, for us to be able to know where we want to direct our personal lives. As Kuya Tony told me “Siyempre sayang naman kung sasayangin namin ung buhay namin diba? Hindi pa naman dito nagtatapos ang lahat.. pwede pa naman kaming mag-aral para maging worth while ung buhay namin dito!”
It is only after this exposure trip that I realized, that I have been thinking more of “I” than thinking of “THEM,” that often times what we stumble to as obscure might just be petty for others who are suffering even more than what we think we have!
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